Abroad Wedding Dilemma

My fiance and myself are from different countries, so no matter how this gets stated or done, it's an abroad wedding for one side or the other (U.S./Scotland).


First question: Is it necessary for us to pay the travel, hotel, food and activity for those we want to invite from the other country? What about for the wedding party of which half will be traveling abroad?

Second question: Since one country in general will have people unable to attend (both our sides have individuals unwilling or unable to fly the distance), is there anything wrong with waiting to have a second "reception" in that location for a couple weeks while we get our ideas for the celebration together and worked out (we want to show a video of the ceremony and photographs taken, and then do the introduction of us to that group and have a party but that takes time to put together and arrange.

Third question: Are there any ideas or suggestions on how to not make it feel like an "afterthought" as it really isn't, we just are aware and know there will be many who can't attend regardless of which locality we choose?

Is any part of this breaking some etiquette rule(s)?


1. No, it is not necessary to pay travel expenses for guests or members of the bridal party traveling abroad. If however, you would like to pay for a grandparent or another important person in your lives to ensure their attendance then you may.

2. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having an additional reception. It is a wonderful (and thoughtful) idea to have a second celebration in the "other" country. It lets the friends and family there know that you thought enough to take on the expense of sharing your day with them in a special way.

3. One idea to keep the second celebration from seeming like an afterthought is to set a date for the second celebration when you set a date for the actual wedding and send invitations for both to everyone at the same time.

The first would be an invitation to the wedding of "Jane" and "John" and the second would be an invitation to a celebration of the wedding of "Jane" and "John". This way everyone is invited to both and they can then make the decision of which they can attend knowing that they were always thought of in your planning process.

Just make sure that you set a date for the second celebration that allows you enough time to make the necessary arrangements for that reception.

You would not be breaking any rules with these ideas.

Click here to post comments

Return to Wedding Questions.