Invitation sent to unwanted guest

by Patty
(San Francisco, CA , USA)

How does one tactfully UN-INVITE a relative whose lack of sophistication and social grace may prove to be an embarrassment at a large(500+ guests), formal, society wedding?

This person was accidentally placed on the guest list and has already received a mailed formal invitation and R.S.V.P. to which he has responded with plans to come miles to attend the wedding and reception.

Well that's a tough situation, especially since this person is a relative. First, if this person has already paid money on travel arrangements to your wedding then they should just come.

If you really think that they would cause a disturbance during your wedding day then the polite thing to do is to have a talk with them about the situation. See if you can come to an understanding about what is expected of every guest on your wedding day. Let them know that if they can not abide by your standards then you would rather that they not come. But you should talk to the person either face-to-face or over the phone.