Post 2nd reception plan dilema

by Sarah
(Chippewa Falls, WI)

My brother & his now wife, were united in marriage this past weekend. They had the most beautiful, elegant, romantic, wedding/reception that was full of great entertainment! But their venue was quite small.


So making it a tight guest list. My brother (being a man) let his betroathed invite all of her family & friends, while he only could invite my dad's brother with his wife & kids, also his sister with her husband (excluding their 4 children, for whom all have families of their own).

Then there's my mom's side, where he invited my Grandma, my mom's twin sister & spouse, also my two other aunts & their husbands. But alas he didn't invite my 7 uncles or their wives or any of our 30 cousins.

So as about 2 months ago my mother decided to throw a post wedding reception (rather gathering) for just her's & my dad's families along with a couple of friends invites are going out tomorrow!

She plans on serving sandwiches and salads, cake some outside stuff like frisbees, botchee ball, etc. . . She's not saying anything about gifts. Maybe a keg, no music & decor purple & green (colors of the wedding). My brother only wants to mingle.

I suggested on going with a nature decor theme with several free ideas to do-which ties in with the whole theme. Then I have a friend who can play any type of music we want for free. Also thought of game tournaments. Where teams of two do an event for certain # of dollars. Winners of event split pot with the bride & groom. Then for the kids have contest, winner gets prize. (all kids get a prize).

My mom's planing on having this be a family x-mas, minus the bingo. Very zzzzz. My family are the type of people whom go to rockfest. My parents are older & don't do much socializing anymore & are not too concerned if some don' make it.

I feel it's kind of rude to my families. I've been shut down on everything I say. I believe I can't explain the right way of how I feel to my mother without geting upset-for so far that's all I've done. She simplified my wedding and I regret letting her do it.

What is the right thing to do? I say if it's not going to be any more expensive why not cater to those who were not invited to the wedding. Don't they deserve to have a good time? Help the party is in 3 weeks!


Honestly, it sounds like your brother and his wife had a beautiful reception already. What your mom is planning just sounds like a casual party to celebrate your brother's nuptuals not another wedding reception.

Since a proper reception was already given, then your mother (the host of this event) can plan it however she sees fit. If anything, it would have been your brother's responsibility to make sure that he was well represented at the formal reception but he did not.

As unfair as it may seem you can not recreate the wonderful event that has already taken place. Your mother has taken it upon herself to plan a get together to celebrate your brother's wedding so think of it as just that, a party. Your family is probably more upset that they were not invited to the original reception than with anything your mom is putting together.

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